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Monday, 21 May 2007

Old Camera, Pet Wars and a Teeny Tiny T10

Because our camera was odd and the memory card full and the uploading onto the computer irksome, and the desire to take pics of the work unfolding paramount, I took me, silly me, to Comet or Currys to buy another.
“I’d like a memory card please, for my camera,” I said, reasonably.
“Which camera is it, madam?” (really, I did get a madam.)
“A Canon fine-pix,” I said, inwardly lamenting the “x”, I do so go for a properly spelt word.
“Hmmm.”
A lot of flicking around between computer screens went on. An aborted phone call led to the replacement of the handset with very little having been said.
“Are you sure about the name?”
“No, no, no! It’s a Fuji fine-pix!” D’oh!
“Aaah, would that be an SL, or a DX, or a SX or ….?”
“I don’t (bloody) know! It’s silver!”
I went away again.
I returned later. With the camera and brandished it proudly, presumptuously rummaging in my bag for cash for a speedy transaction.
The man shook his head sadly. “This is a very old camera.”
“5 years …” I said, puzzled.
“Very, very old,” he said turning it round in wonder at its potential museum status. A small crowd of blue-shirted, name-badged men gathered to peer and frown.
So I had to buy a new one. Cheaper, they said.
Our new one is well dandy, 10,000,000 pixels no less. I am hoping that someone had to count them. Nice big screen, now filling nicely with piles of mud and blurs of puppy.

Had a fantastic dog and cat moment yesterday which I am compelled to share.
There is a thing in the garden, possibly sold as a summer house, which is sited inconveniently, hard against a tree which the previous owner had forgotten might grow. It now takes our bikes and garden chairs and, temporarily and oddly, my desk. It is also where the cat is fed, whom regular readers from the Other Side will know is the spawn of Satan, only not as nice.
We have optimistically had a new slab created for it – the summer house, not the cat – in a corner, but are at a weedy middle-class loss as to how to move it so it continues to be in the wrong place.
Stonehenge comes to mind: they did it, we must be able to.
But not yet.
My Swiss friend came over with her three year old boy who was entranced by it. Open door: in. Out. In. Out. First the piles of sand and grit, now the summer house. Hours of happy fun. If this is England, it rocks. We all had to go in and stand with him, amongst the motley furniture and torn packs of cement, feeling foolish and hot and dusty.
Then they went, and I forgot to shut the door properly. Well, it’s a man’s job, shutting doors properly, and E was away at Lords. Along came the wind overnight and blew the door half off its hinges.
Next morning, alive to the open status of this hitherto forbidden paradise, in skipped Lolly (dog). Bouncing on stiff teddybear legs she was, in the parlance, well made up. Then she caught sight of the kat fud. More prancing. She sashayed over and tucked in. I chortled.
But the cat, inappropriately jauntily monikered Maisie, was lurking – unpleasantly – in the flower bed and on glancing up, saw Lolly through the grimy glaze of the cat flap. Like a Jane Austen dowager spotting her favourite niece being slighted by a cad, she stiffened and set sail across the ballroom of the grass landing her furious face scant millimetres from the glass. Lolly looked up, all perky, all Let’s Play. Maisie lifted her paw and smacked it hard against the cat flap which shuddered and flew hard into Lolly’s face the other side. Maisie sat a moment to contemplate the just deserts of the outcome and then swaggered off to insult the Ceanothus.
Later, I fed Lolly and she tucked in joyously.
Along came Maisie. She strode right up to the dog, whom she has hitherto merely hissed and spat at, and started eating the food without a by your leave. Confused, but at heart a nice sharing kinda gal, Lolly sat back dutifully and licked her lips, imagining the taste of food which only the cat was actually getting.
Unbearable to think that Princess Lolly considers herself to rank lower than the cat but thus it seems to be. I gave it a minute, out of reluctant fairness, and then chased Maisie away.

This morning I took T10 to the doctor to address his persistent cough. All was fine until I made some incidental reference to his skinniness. She weighed and measured him and fiddled with her computer and declared that he is below the 5th percentile so must eat unhealthily for the next month to see if we can fatten him up slightly.
I said that I had been like that as a child and an insulting “I find that hard to believe” silence hung in the room.
We went and bought some chocolate, and I selflessly shared with him to show my allegiance to his new diet. I returned him to school and made myself an exhaustingly large plateful of scrambled eggs on crumpets. It’s a tiring lark this Eating Up business.

19 comments:

Cait O'Connor said...

Milla! I've only just found you again.
That was a good read.
Caitx

KittyB said...

Chicken sandwiches and Guinness was prescribed to me in my teens for being too skinny. Maybe not the Guinness for T10, though.

The camera men sound like the car man at the garage. "I want a dog gate" I said. "What's the reg?" he asked. "Y123 XYZ" I said. "Is that the new shape, '01-'05?" he asks. "Ummm... it's green," I said. How the bloo*y hell should I know? Durrrhh.

Inthemud said...

5 yrs is old in shop terms !Nothing is built to last these days! That's why they always try to get you to by a warranty, and you know it'll break the moment the warranty runs out. I too need to buy a camera as gilrs have gone off with theirs.

Poor Lolly, she'll get her own back , our dog did!

Suffolkmum said...

Wonderful stuff again. We have a prehistoric digital camera too - how can this be? Haven't they only just been invented? Oh poor Lolly. Your cat and mine are clearly related.

Suffolkmum said...

Oh and keep up the good work helping T10. Loved the doctor's silence hanging in the air. I was a skinny child too.

@themill said...

Love the Tom and Jerry moment. Can just picture it.
Re the summer house - don't you know a local farmer with a forklift who may move it for a bottle of wine? How else would we keep our cellar stocked!
E at Lords. if I'd read this yesterday I would've been jealous but as it's peeing with rain there and gloriously sunny here, I'm not in the least. Will be at the Test at the Riverside in June.
Why do you think they are so intent on bringing Michael Vaughan back when he has been out injured so long and is totally out of match practice? Strauss is doing a good job and should have had the job in Aus. Don't the selectors remember the folly of making Botham captain? Hey ho. could talk cricket all day but got to garden!

@themill said...

Forgot - the skinny one. Have you tried worming him? Seriously.

toady said...

Lolly sounds to be far too much of a lady. Hope Maisie soon gets her cumeuppance. Toady

UN PEU LOUFOQUE said...

How great to see you again I wondered where you had gone! I hate it when they tell you one must trade in a camra or phone or computer becasue it is so old.. why can't tehy make thiings last.. i still have my mothers kenwood chef and its at least 30 years old and going strong!!

Blossomcottage said...

Glad to see you up and around and taking some nourishment, we cannot have you flagging,you will need all your strenght to deal with 10 million mega pixals!!
Blossom

WesterWitch/Headmistress said...

Oh no - so my camera is getting on as well . . . . Oh yes played the cat and dog games . . . .very funny - camera always elsewhere. Son and I both have low blood pressure - so we have to eat loads of salt - is there much salt in chocolate?

muddyboots said...

great read, old at 5 years? l still have my mum's kenwood & that's about 40 years old.

CAMILLA said...

You are back, wonderful Milla, I have missed your blogs they are truly wonderful. What an escapade with Lol and Maisie, will they ever sit side by side I wonder.
Camera - I need a new one, hoping son will spend some of his bucks, latest is, "I will get you one", great, as long as I know how to use the blessed thing. Summerhouse in the garden, Heaven.
Camilla.xxx

Pondside said...

Don't you just hate that 'how could you manage with such an old and decrepit ________ ?' that you get in any appliance or electronic store? You'll have to be on your toes now to deal with that many pixels!
Don't worry too much about T10 - he'll fill out on his body's timetable, not on the doctor's. In the meantime, enjoy the feeding up!

Exmoorjane said...

Sorry but I hate all you 'I was a skinny child' people.....just go away while I eat another Mars bar.

Lovely cat/dog war story - cats should always win.....not sure I dare test this theory with Jack....
And 5 year old cameras - ridiculous! Mind you I had the same with my mobile - the child who served me got all his friends and relations out the back to look at my 'antique'.....
jxx

sally's chateau said...

Ok Milla where are these fab pics on your all singing/dancing camera ? I find it crazy that these digital camera's are outdated after such a short time too.(just when you've mastered them )

DevonLife said...

thank the lord you're back. OK advice from D. If the summer house is wooden and pre-fab you should be able to take it down piece by piece (ie roof then sides, rather than board by nail, by splinter) and then reassemble. He said it should take a day for two men and should cost you £200 max as long as the slab is level.

oh he is useful.

I too was a very very skinny child. i was suffered the shame of being singled out for a special medical because they thought I wasn't eating. I am and always have been remarkably greedy. I remember seeing an ad for a body-building product called 'super weight on' which i thought would be the answer to my prayers, but was too shamed to ask mum for the money to buy it. Hey ho.

Eden said...

Your blogs are such fun to read, milla. Love the puppy and the cat. And I am so on the puppy's side. She should NOT feel lower than the cat -- can't be right.

Oh the feeding up thing -- Get so fed up with it.People always telling me to eat up and to feed up my husband. Old ladies hand me recipes for fruit cake. I smile and squash the paper quietly in my pocket. Really, people would never dream of going up to someone overweight they hardly know and saying "you should eat less" would they? But they feel no compunction at all about doing the reverse. Truth is I've always been a thread of a thing, probably always will be. Despite slavish devotion to cakes. Only ever was one stripe in my pyjamas. Always had to wear skis in the shower to keep from being washed away.

JacquiMcR said...

Don't you just hate being forced to buy electronic goods. When our TV gave up the ghost we thought we might invest in a flat screen model (only the 26 inch as I can't abide the massive ones). Waiting to be bombarded with all the technical mumbo jumbo we were amused to be talking to the only sales assistant in the world that knew less than us. When asked which model could be recommended, she advised " this one because its got quite a good picture !!!!".

My son is very skinny also, despite the fact that he can eat all of us, under the table. He is always on the go and loves sport and must just burn it off. I always have to take in his school trousers and even with the belt done up, he can breath in and slide them off over his non existent hips. He is however a very happy, sociable wee boy and I don't care if he too is probably underweight.

Take care - Jacqui